It has been noted that caring for someone with any illness is difficult. Caring for someone with a psychiatric illness is bloody difficult.

Caring for someone who is experiencing mental distress covers a wide range of activites. Everything from giving him of her emotional support and encouragement to providing him or her with practical help, Activities such as shopping, helping with chores etc.

'Empathetic' Listening
Whenever any of us are feeling bad we often feel an overwhelming  urge to vent it. Usually this involves talk with someone about what we are going through. Unfortunately (and all too often) those we unburden ourselves to experience feelings of discomfort and can find it extremely difficult to listen.

Consequently, instead of listening to what is being said, they are focussed upon what they are thinking and saying. Very often interrupting us to tell us about himself or herself, Making judgements, making us feel guilty, emotionally blackmailing us and telling us what we should do or how we should feel.

Venting

If we are able to listen (and listen well), speakers are often able to vent their pain. Sometimes this process may involve crying, getting flustered, agitated, or laughing. Venting this way does help us to feel better. By releasing our feelings in this way we can find ourselves  more relaxed and able to think more clearly.

If confronted by such a situation we can provide reassurance and encouragement by using sentiments such as: "I want to hear about what you're experiencing"  "How are feeling about this", "It’s good that you’re crying"(etc). It is widely believed that asking exactly the right questions really can help us to reach the most important things

• What’s really bothering him or her,
• Why he or she is feeling the way he or she is.

Being able to listen to someone without talking about yourself is a good start. doesn't mean there is a pact of silence.  not always mean keeping quiet, but it does mean thinking about how you can help the other person to open up and talk.

Listening properly is not easy, but it really is worth making the effort. The potential benefit to the speaker can be enormous. It really can make a major difference to someone who needs your help and who you want to help.

Unfortunately the distressed person might be feeling too anxious, too depressed, too scared or too untrusting to talk. Despite this we can still let him or her know that we are there for them and him or her are welcome to talk to you, if and when he or she wants to.

Showing Appreciation
I imagine that we all like to be complimented or praised. It can be a real boost to one's flagging confidence. Especially when we have lost our self-confidence.

When something happens which shakes our lives we can find it difficult to give ourselves any credit for anything at all. We can really excel at criticising or blaming ourselves. But not recognising and valuing our achievements - no matter how small they may be. Whenever achievements occur they should be welcomed with praise. Each small achievement is deserving of praise. Appreciation encourages us to feel better about ourselves and makes us begin to believe in ourselves again. Appreciation prepares us to make more progress.

Touch
This can backfire, but whilst being touched can help some of us to  feel safe, secure and loved. It can also help bring buried feelings to the surface; a warming hug can turn tension into tears.

It has to be said, but some of us have experienced such bad experiences that physical conduct can be almost impossible. Accordingly 'touching' can be almost impossible for some of us.

However if you can find ways of touching that feel right for both of you, it can be relaxing and reassuring. You might hold the person’s hand while they talk, or touch their arm when you say good-bye. You could learn to give a massage to the head, feet, hands or shoulders, where tension builds up.

Laughter
We feel better after a good laugh, and this applies as much to people who are experiencing mental distress as to anyone else. You don’t always have to be serious to show that you care. Sometimes it’s best to do something that helps people forget about their problems for a while.

You could go to a film you know they will enjoy, or remind your friend of amusing things you did together. Being light-hearted is different from trying to force someone to ‘pull themselves together’, which is never useful.

Practical help
When we are unwell we tend to neglect the mundane chores of every day life. Feeling bad really can make our daily existence difficult, simple tasks such as shopping, cooking, cleaning and paying bills become a major challenge. If that wasn't enough, going through a period of mental distress tends to create even more work. Tasks such as sorting out social security payments can be an extremely stressful.

Having someone at your side to share this workload would be an enormous benefit.  Not only is it a great relief to have someone standing by us in such a terrible time. It is also the best (practical) way of showing someone that we really do care.

Having said that, it’s important not to take over his or her life which could leave him or her feeling even more inadequate. The key is to do things together and care for each other.