There is always hope

When our 'life' situation is intolerable, as for example with the bereavement of a loved one, our belief that life has lost it's meaning, is both a natural and an understandable belief. Overwhelmed by the emotion of such a terrible personal tragedy, such an outlook is normal, and so, must be healthy.

However, if the 'emotional whiplash' of this events leads to an overwhelming desire to be re-united with your lost one/s in some form of afterlife. Then your life is in danger. If you are being torn between life and death then you are experiencing a suicidal crisis. and you really are in danger. I strongly urge you to seek help and support in this darkest of life's chapters.

Please do not bottle up your emotions. Do share them before they build up and overwhelm you. You could always email me in an emergency.

Anyway...

I have added the following newspaper articles in the spirit that they may be of assistance to you.  Together, they provide an actual account of hope overcoming loss. Based in the suicide of a loved one, it is an authentic story of hope - and we all need hope. Hope is a saviour.

The suicide savour  (THE SUN, Sept 20 2005 )

Keith Lane wraps his coat tightly around himself as he staps through the biting cold fog that hangs like a grey blanket over the clifftop at Beachy Head.

He holds his breath and edges closer to the teenager who is standing so close to the edge that his toes are overhanging the drop.

     "Why are you doing this?" Keith gently asks the young man.

   Shaking, the ashen-faced boy stares down at the sea crashing on the rocks 600 feet below him as he reveals he is about to kill himself because he is failing at university.

   Cautiously stretching out a hand, Keith asks: "Are you loved?"

   The young lad thinks for a moment, then replies, "Yes, by my mum, my dad and my girlfriend."

   Keith looks himin the eye and says: "Then you don't need anything more. If you are loved you've got everything."

   With his arm now around the young man's shoulders, Keith smiles at him, the 17-year-old smiles back and together they walk away from the cliff edge.

   Then the boy bursts into tears and says: "Thank you. You just saved my life."

   Ever since his wife fell to her death at Beachy Head in March 2004, 55-year-old Keith has made it his mission to save desperate souls from the same fate

   So far he has prevented eight men and one woman from taking their lives at the East Sussex beauty spot - earning himself the nickname "The Watchman"

   Now Keith wants the Government to set up a full-time, round-the-clock watch along the 8 mile stretch of coastline to stop more people taking their lives.

The article continued to explain Keith's  solo mission to save peoples lives at the Beachy Head beauty spot. A remarkable man doing a remarkable job.  Like many others whose lives have been destroyed by the suicide of a loved one, Keith undertakes this most important work to prevent other families  from enduring the same tragic loss. It was then quite a pleasant surprise to read the following article published in the DAILY MIRROR dated Chritmas Eve 05.

SHE SAVED ME 

Keith has stopped 15 suicides at Beachy Head after his wife took her own life ..now he has found new love

SAMARITAN Keith Lane stands with his new love on the suicide cliff where he has saved 15 lives since his wife hurled herself to her death.                                                                                                   

Beachy Head hero Keith Lane, 54. fell apart after wife Maggie died. Now divorcee Val Thorogood has pulled him from the brink of despair and the couple plan to marry next March.

Keith who spends his free time patrolling the notorious 600ft cliff to rescue others from killing themselves said: "She saved me from myself"

"After Maggie died, I thought about joining her. Now I've met Val, I'm happy again. We're like a couple of lovestruck kids and I like to think Maggie is looking down, giving us her blessing."

Mum Val, 52 said: "l'm not competing with Maggie's ghost. Keith and I both have past lives which shouldn't be ignored. Keith is a fighter like me and I respect him for his beliefs. Not many women can boast that their man is a true hero."

Maggie, 54, a depressive with drink problems, leapt off Beachy Head in East Sussex, 21 months ago. A simple wooden cross Keith drove into the chalkface marks the spot where she died.

The tragedy spurred Keith into guarding the cliff to prevent others taking their lives, winning him international recognition and a string of humane awards. But an aching void in his life remained to be filled.

He met Val - mum of Dee, 26, and Ryan, 28 - as she was divorcing her husband of 31 years. Three weeks later, he proposed on a romantic trip to Paris.

Speaking only 48 hours after rescuing a young mum threatening to kill herself Keith, of Eastbourne, said:"When I first saw Val, I thought she was striking, but something held me back - it was Maggie of course.

"We spoke, but deep down it felt as if I was betraying my late wife. Then, the more I got to know Val the more I realised how much I wanted to live again. Everything came into perspective.

"When Maggie died it was the end of the world. I was drinking too much, couldn't sleep, didn't want to eat and sold the house. "I'll always grieve for her, but now l know that what I'm doing in her name is more important. Because of her, 15 others are alive. "In a strange kind of way, it's as if all that happened is for the greater reason. I like to think Maggie guided me to a new life."

"Val is the most caring, compassionate woman I could meet. I'm so happy. I can't believe I've been given a second chance in love and life. I never thought it would happen."

Window cleaner Keith - dad of Judy, 34, and Charlotte, 28 - told how Val insisted he continued devoting his life to his cause. He said: "If l'm at home doing odd jobs, she'll glance at the clock and say 'Isn't it time you went up to Beachy Head?' She actively encourages me to go there and is proud when I return telling her I've talked someone out of ending it all."

Val often joins keith's vigils on the bleak headlands where 38 people have killed themselves in the last year. She said: "I'm proud of what he's doing at Beachy Head. He's up there all hours of the day and night, whatever the weather. He's such a modest guy, but I always know when he has saved someone's life. He's got that look about him.

He puts his life on the line every time he goes there. I worry that one night he could come face to face with a violent person so determined to kill themselves, they might take him with them. "But that's a chance we both have to take. I know Keith and he'll never put his own safety above saving others.

"Few people realise he often sits on the crumbling edge with would-be victims. He's never been trained as a counsellor but has a special, calming way. He's got the human touch."

Val's understanding of Keith's crusade is underpinned by three suicide tragedies in her own life. The victims were all friends, though none died at Beachy Head.

Keith will be back on patrol over Christmas and New Year when people are at their most vulnerable and lonely. But this year, he'll have Val's love to give his mission greater strength. He said: "I never thought I'd find love after Maggie. We're totally in love. I'm lucky to have met two very special women."