Can we really change ourselves?

It is said that a leopard cannot change its spots. Fortunately, we are not leopards. As human beings we can change our minds. We can also change our opinions, attitudes, values, loyalties, friendships and behaviour.

Unlike the leopard we are capable of change

Change most certainly is possible. Bringing about that change is the difficult bit. The first thing we need to do is focus on how we can transform (unhealthy) negative/self-harming/suicidal feelings into (healthy) positive/non self-harming / anti-suicidal ones.

Knowing we can change is one thing, doing it another.

Realising and recognising that there are things about us that we need to change is not enough. Making those changes come about needs honesty, clear thinking and straight talking.

Sitting around just waiting for things to change all by themselves will change nothing. If you truly want to change, you must first accept that only YOU can do this, and that it won't just happen by magic - it will require some hard work.

Only you have the power to change you

Again it is very easy to say that: “We all have the capacity and the potential to change who we are.” It is also simple to grasp the concept that: “Only I can change myself, my behaviour and my life.”

Doing it is a different matter. There are obstacles. Without doubt, the very greatest of these obstacles is our own lack of motivation. It is also worth noting that the obstacles preventing us from ‘changing’ the things we need to change, are internal and not external.

One of our biggest motivational obstacles is our own bad habits. These are (all too often) what is causing us our difficulties.

True change requires us to retrain ourselves into good habits. If we can swap our old bad habits for new good habits we will change ourselves. If we can’t – then perhaps we won’t.

One extremely important bad habit to target is the one that allows us to ‘opt out’. Not only from taking personal responsibility for whatever is happening around us: But also from taking personal responsibility for the way we respond to it. Allowing us to blame everything and everyone but ourselves.

Convincing us that every little set-back really is their fault. Or so we like to think! But, by blaming others we effectively excuse ourselves from doing anything about our situations, our problems, our plight.

Worse than that we de-motivate ourselves from taking corrective action. We justify our inaction with a host of reasons over which we (like to believe) have absolutely no control. This we do by convincing ourselves that it really is their fault. It is easier than doing something about it.

We need to accept that EACH ONE OF US IS RESPONSIBLE FOR OURSELVES. This is prerequisite to changing our lives